Pitchers and catchers just started reporting to practice across the MLB and Darren O’Day came rocking a new look. The 80s porn star mustache is always a good look. If I wasn’t single I would definitely be rocking it. It’s kind of like when you settle down and get a wife and all of a sudden you’re eating take out every night, sitting on the couch all weekend, and never showering. Since baseball players don’t get to enjoy these luxuries, the next best thing is an ugly-looking mustache. Here’s an even better picture of Darren from MASN’s instagram:
Not to mention, his wife is an absolute fox.
Which brings us to Chris Davis, who grew out the stache in 2015, when the Orioles failed to make the postseason, but he had one of his better years hitting .262/.361/.562 with 47 homers and 117 RBIs. Not to shabby.
This can only mean good things for O’Day. As for who had the better stache, I’ll take Davis. Dude looks like he lays pipe with that thing. Oh, by the way, his wife is even hotter:
I couldn’t imagine pursuing porn when you get to fuck either of these lovely ladies on the regular. Davis would absolutely destroy in the porn game, but something tells me O’Day would bring a uniqueness (like his sidearm throwing) to the industry that can’t be replicated. I’ll take O’Day because it’s all about page views and if he fucks the same way he throws, the industry would be in for a treat. Oh, and Davis strikes out a lot.
The Cube Monkey Life 